The saga of RaGa

I think most people in India know what NaMo and RaGa mean. These are the brand names of two of the most famous national political figures Narendra Modi and Rahul Gandhi. Unprecedented branding of political figures started in India with the rise of Narendra Modi. Mr. Modi and his team aggressively developed his brand just like any other product, this started during his tenure as a chief minister of Gujarat. When that strategy worked superbly, every party started doing the same thing, no one could match the fire and force of the BJP for quite some time, but all are still trying and the RaGa brand is Indian National Congress's answer to BJP's NaMo brand. 

Rahul Gandhi belongs to the Nehru-Gandhi family. There is no doubt that one of the major reasons behind where he is today is the family to which he belongs. He recognizes it, acknowledges it and I don't think there is any doubt about the role his last name played in his political existence. But dynasty is not an uncommon thing, it is prevalent in many parts of the world and India is not an exception. It is common to see dynasties in Indian politics, business, or any other field where there is a scope to have a dynasty. In the Indian film industry, some dynasties are in their third or fourth generation, big corporations are run by families where top management consistently comes from the same family, and Indian mythological stories are full of dynasties. It is difficult to ignore the presence of dynasties in various fields including business, media, film, and politics. Dynasties are present in most political parties in India, the level and positions they occupy might be different in different parties, but they are there. This all is not to justify the rule of the dynasty but to show that the Nehru-Gandhi family is not the only dynasty in India, but it is the most famous one. I think Rahul got into politics out of compulsion rather than his own choice. His father, Late Rajiv Gandhi also got dragged into politics after the untimely death of his brother Sanjay and then the death of his mother Mrs. Indira Gandhi. Somehow the Indian National Congress feels the perpetual need to have someone from the Nehru-Gandhi family at the helm. Somehow the party and its workers feel safe and secure under their leadership. Many senior leaders acknowledge this thing and they feel it keeps the party united. This reasoning never made any sense to me, but this is what it is. 

Rahul didn't have a conventional upbringing, his uncle, grandmother, and father all died unnatural deaths. Two of them (grandma and father) were assassinated brutally by terrorists. He was very young when his grandma and father were assassinated. His mother was forced to enter politics and then he had to follow her. In the beginning, he was not even considered as a viable option. He was visibly uncomfortable during his political appearances. Congress party suffered humiliating loss after loss at the hands of BJP and other parties, and Rahul was projected as one of the reasons for these debacles. He was attacked for who he was (a Gandhi dynast), he was ridiculed as "Pappu," his lack of stage confidence, and fumbles during interviews were highlighted, his comments were edited so that they sounded utterly stupid, and eventually it was unimaginable for people to even compare Modi and Rahul. But, somehow he survived all these attacks from outside. The main reason was that no one within his party asked for his resignation due to all those failures. This is the advantage one gets when your position within the party is secure. There was absolutely no challenge to his position within his own party. He became president of the Congress party even though the party was not performing well in election after election. Recent victories in some state elections might justify his promotion and may turn his party's fortunes in another direction, and people might see him now as a national leader who can challenge Mr. Modi. But, this is too early to predict any such thing, and Rahul has a lot to prove before he can present himself as a serious contender for the prime minister's position. Actually, the BJP helped him a lot by constantly attacking him and ridiculing him, they always kept him relevant for some reason, they used him as a punching bag and it seems that the punching bag punched them back really bad. In the same way, the Congress party helped Mr. Modi to gain prominence on the national stage by attacking him relentlessly. I am not judging Rahul's political acumen and capabilities, he needs more time to prove himself. I was purely drawn to his story because of his unique background and his roller-coaster political journey. As I already mentioned there is no doubt that he got many privileges and advantages just because he was born in a particular family, but for the same reason, his life took many unexpected turns and presented him with unique challenges. It will be interesting to see his future progression. 

I had very high expectations from Mr. Modi's government. After all, the BJP secured a single-party majority under his leadership and this government had a golden opportunity to introduce some reforms which only a single-party majority government could implement in a country like India. However, instead of focusing on that, he focused all his attention on conquering all states of India. Let's see how RaGa compares to NaMo as far as delivering reformative governance is concerned. I am happy to see that at least Rahul is not talking about eliminating BJP from India. The presence of strong opposition is necessary for any democracy to be vibrant and functioning. I wish both brands RaGa and NaMo deliver what they claim, and people hold them accountable for their promises and not get blinded by their glitter and glamor. If this doesn't happen, then the same old musical chair circus will continue without much change in governance, RaGa and NaMo brands might become successful, but brand India will fail and I don't think any right-minded Indian would like to see this happen.

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Me Too - easy to mock, but difficult to understand

Sexual harassment is a serious issue. This is a widespread problem in each and every country around the world. It would be really naive to assume that it is more prevalent in developed countries where women participate more in the workforce compared to developing or undeveloped countries. Also, this problem is more prevalent than one can imagine. We underestimate it because traditionally many behaviors were not recognized as harassing, for many centuries societies around the world ignored such harassing behaviors or accepted them under some lame justifications like "boys will be boys."  Patriarchy and chauvinism not only sheltered such behavior but also legitimized it and generations were raised believing that this was a part of social male-female interaction in a male-dominated society.  Now, before anyone points it out, let me make it clear that this is not a gender-specific problem, men also get sexually harassed, but women are at the receiving end of this type of harassment in disproportionately high numbers and one can confirm this by checking the data.

When the "Me Too" movement started and many women started openly talking about the sexual harassment they faced, societies got rattled. It was totally unexpected and not a very comfortable situation for them to see the elephant in the room being addressed so openly and directly. I am sure most women knew that this problem existed but somehow we accepted it as a part of the day-to-day ordeal of being a woman. Many famous and not-so-famous people got exposed for their predatory and harassing behavior, this is how it caught the media's attention. The "Me Too" movement became viral on the internet and was in the news all over the world. Now, like any other movement, some will try to misuse it, but this problem is not unique to Me Too, that's the nature of our society. Any law or popular movement is always misused by a few people, and I don't think Me Too will be an exception. Misuse by a few people cannot be a reason to question the legitimacy of any social transformation. But the way this movement got ridiculed from its start, especially in India was not a very good sign. I was tired of reading so many messages on WhatsApp making fun of Me Too and questioning the motives of women who chose to come forward with these allegations. The messages were so many that it was not easy to ignore them, for a few weeks it seemed like it became a favorite time pass on WhatsApp, especially for men. 

First of all, it takes immense courage to share any such thing publicly knowing that nothing might come out of this except ridicule, humiliation, and character assassination. Second, the kind of publicity you get after coming out is not always desirable, one can look at the way most of the victims were treated. Would any of us like to be in that situation? And lastly, for all people who ask the question, why now? Why not when it happened? Please try to understand the vulnerability, and social and personal situation of the victim before passing any judgments. Many harassment or discrimination incidents are exposed much later than the time when they actually happen. The main reason for this is that normally the victims are suppressed and not in a position to raise their voices when they face such incidents, they fear serious repercussions for their personal and professional lives and prefer to keep quiet. Normally the victim and their harasser have disproportionately different professional standings and harassers take advantage of it. This is not a failure to report by the victim but as a society, it is our failure to provide them with an atmosphere where they feel comfortable in reporting such incidents. 

I just have one request, before being judgemental about any victim of any harassment or discrimination please try to understand their situation at the time the incident happened with them. If you can, I am sure you will be empathetic towards their plight and offer them all the support and help they need. At the same time, we must acknowledge that it is everyone's right to express their opinion, no matter what it is. No one should be penalized just for expressing their opinion no matter how offensive we might feel that opinion is. It is important to offer criticism whenever we see anyone misusing any movement or law, this is necessary to keep the legitimacy of such social movements intact. Mocking any social movement like Me Too without understanding it is very easy, the difficult part is to try to understand the intricacies of such a movement and relate to the victim's plight. The choice is always ours.

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.

Simple doesn't mean it's easy

Being a responsible citizen is simple. Minding our own business and not interfering with others' private matters is simple. Being conscious of the difference between our needs and desires is simple. Respecting each other is simple. Not discriminating against people based on their gender, race, or any other characteristic is simple. The list of such simple things is very big, but the problem is many people struggle with these things. Being simple doesn't mean it's easy. There are many things that are straightforward and we all understand them clearly still we fail to follow them even if they can be really helpful for our and our society's good. We ignore the fact that simple things also might require a lot of effort, dedication, and commitment to bring them into practice. This careless attitude is the reason for the fact that even after acknowledging the relevance and importance of many of the above-mentioned things we fail to make them a habit.

Please recognize one truth, "just because something is simple doesn't mean it's easy." Once we understand this our mind should be prepared to make all the necessary efforts with all seriousness to take all the necessary steps required to inculcate many of those "simple" habits in our day-to-day life. These things are simple because they are easy to do, you don't need any specialized degree or strenuous physical work to practice them, they are simple not because they are easy to achieve. They do require the presence of common sense, a rational and balanced mind, and sincere efforts. If we lack any one of these or take them too casually we will be left wondering why and how we failed to learn such simple habits. 

First of all, why should we bother about such simple things? The answer is also very simple because those are the things that make our lives and the lives of others around us better and happier. These simple things show we care for each other and respect despite so many differences among us. These things make happy and progressive societies where all individuals are respected and free to pursue their goals. So, the takeaway from this post is, please don't take things lightly just because they look and sound simple, and please remember that "simple doesn't mean easy," you need to work hard to learn many simple things. 

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Do you monitor your psychological diet?

Most of us are very conscious of the food we consume and try to monitor our diet based on our age, health goals, or doctor's recommendations. We know that the type of food we consume has a direct effect on our physical health. The origin of many serious diseases can be traced to our dietary habits, this forces us to be a responsible consumer of food. But how many of us pay equal attention to our psychological diet? How many of us are even conscious about the type of food we feed to our minds? It should not come as a shock to anyone that the type of content we feed to our brain directly affects our thinking and in turn affects our behavior. Our personal and social life is affected by what we think and hence our psychological diet matters a lot in determining our social health. So, why don't we pay attention to our psychological diet, and if we want how we can monitor our psychological diet?

The first problem is that we can't see or feel thoughts like we feel other tangible things like the food we consume or gadgets we buy. When we eat food we can smell it, feel it, taste it and these factors can dictate whether we like that food or not. It is true that information also comes in different flavors, we do reject or accept some information or thoughts just based on their source, but such behavior is normally associated with some strong religious or cultural emotions. But in today's era, we are bombarded with information, it is continuously fed to us through different outlets like social media, online news, and other traditional sources (like books and print media). We hardly get any time to scrutinize them before consuming them as we receive them on our newly "acquired organ" called a cellphone. This is where lies the rub. On one hand, it is great that if we want we can receive a lot of information from different sources, but at the same time, these platforms guess our habits, likes, and dislikes and can channel only particular types of information toward us (welcome to the world of Artificial Intelligence). Most of the information we receive, especially on social networks, we have no clue from where it is coming or how authentic it is.

When we know that the type of information we consume shapes our thinking shouldn't we be more careful to verify the content or check the reliability of the source of that information before allowing it to become part of our intellect and sharing it with others? Getting to know every side of any issue is necessary and getting information from different sources may help us to look at the same issue with many different angles. But unfortunately, this is not what people are doing. These social media networks and groups are designed in such a way that people receive the same type of information from many unverified and unreliable sources. When this information gets validated by their idols (politicians, celebrities) who also get that information from the same unverified sources, it becomes a fact for that group. So, the lies not only get perpetuated openly but also go unchecked and get consumed as facts. It seems every group, political leader, or political party has its own set of facts, the same way as every religion has their own set of facts about its own book or messiahs. This is not a very healthy situation for any society.

When people stop caring about the quality of their personal diet society suffers from a serious public health crisis. In the same way, when people are careless about their psychological diet society starts suffering from various social and intellectual issues like political and racial polarization. If you are interested in preserving the good psychological health of your community, monitor the quality of your psychological diet, verify the information before you consume it, and see the effect. Our mental health is as important as our physical health. Remember, responsibility always starts with us, be responsible and share the information responsibly.    

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Guilt is an effective weapon used against women for centuries

A feeling of guilt is not a good feeling. It makes us feel bad for whatever we did or failed to do in the past. It makes us feel responsible for whatever bad is happening around us. This feeling is necessary many times to make us realize our mistakes and take corrective actions, but this feeling can also hurt our progress if we feel guilty for no reason, or for doing things that we were supposed to do but which were against the established social norms of that time. The feeling of guilt has been used against women for centuries to make them fulfill stereotyped roles. Overcoming this imposed feeling of guilt is an integral part of every woman's struggle to break the shackles of unreasonable stereotyped restrictions. Women are successful to overcome this feeling and achieve substantial progress to prove that they are no less capable of achieving success in every field, but even after all these years, I read posts on social media where a woman feels guilty for not doing enough for their families by prioritizing their careers. They feel or are made feel guilty for not paying enough attention to their in-laws or kids at the cost of their flourishing careers. They are blamed more for neglecting their familial duties compared to their male counterparts. In contrast, I rarely see any such posts by men, where they regret focussing on their professional lives at the cost of not paying enough attention to their family members, especially young kids.

So, why career-oriented women are selectively targeted for not being involved enough with their families? Because many times this strategy works, many times society becomes successful in imposing that feeling of guilt in women's minds. This weapon of guilt has been used for centuries against women and it is still one of the most potent weapons used against them. Victim shaming also comes in the same category where the motive and behavior of the victim of sexual crime is criticized instead of a blatant act of harassment or assault by the perpetrator. It is not easy to deal with such attacks. As human beings, we are sensitive to our surroundings and have a tendency to fit in. Both women and men are targetted by outdated and rigid social norms to fill in certain types of roles and whenever they try to break those boundaries they are targetted for not being real men or women. We as a society need to fight this mentality if we want each and every member of the community to contribute to the welfare of our society to the best of their capabilities. In an era where a lot of professional help and care is available, it is unreasonable to expect only a particular gender to fulfill particular responsibilities. There is nothing wrong with being a career-oriented person for a man or a woman. Partners can help each other to fulfill their career aspirations and achieve professional as well as personal success. Without support from each other, men and women will fail to achieve their aims no matter what those aims are. 

Hilary Moore, a lawyer who decided to leave law to look after her family wrote in her article, "A real freedom is freedom from condemnation, no matter what choices we make. A woman's place is where she pleases. In a truly egalitarian society, a woman's value will not be measured by her ability to reach the traditional male definition of success." Make your own choices, go through the struggles and hardships that come with it, and reap the rewards. If the imposed feeling of guilt is only used to deter you from breaking stereotyped roles, just ignore it, we need to diffuse this weapon as it has been used for quite some time to frustrate the efforts of brave women. 

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Get rid of your mask

Do you feel pressure to fit into society?
Are you living your life to fulfill the expectations of others around you?
Do you feel obliged to fit into a stereotyped definition of a man or a woman?
Are you doing things that don't interest you at all only because they make you look successful and accomplished in the eyes of others?
If the answer to any of these questions is yes or maybe, then you are living with a mask to project what people around you want to see in you, not what you want. Actually, among all the conditioning that has happened to us since childhood and all the chaos around us, it is not easy to decide what we really want to do. We are guided and misguided so much since our childhood that it becomes extremely hard for many of us to decide what we really want to do in our personal and professional lives. We are told to chase our dreams, but many times situations don't allow us to do that and for many of us it's not easy to decide which dream to chase as we have too many of them, or worse, some of us don't have a dream that we want to chase.

In this confused or conditioned state of mind, knowingly or unknowingly we all start wearing a mask. We don't even realize that we are wearing a mask. We start doing the stuff that others tell us is good for us. We start dreaming about a life that others say is good and happy and choose a career that others say is safe and rewarding. We want to be successful in the eyes of our parents, other relatives, and society. Nowadays, to make sure that everyone knows about our success story we start doing these things and post about them on social media so that people think that we are successful and happy. That mask forces us to choose only certain types of careers because those are only guaranteed to make us rich and happy. We hate our job but still do it as we need those big bucks which we believe will bring a lot of happiness. But the problem is, this mask makes us forget what we really want, in which things our happiness really lies, and what we would like to choose as a profession if we don't have burdens of expectations from others. That mask eventually becomes our face and we get stuck with it, rather we start believing that it's our real face.

I am not saying that getting advice from others is bad or we should not follow anyone's guidance. Many of us need some help to navigate the path of our lives and we should seek such help. But in the end, the choice should be ours, it should not be forced on us. To make such a choice and to live such independent life we need to get rid of our mask first. We need to break free from inhibitions that stop us from exploring new paths and testing our capabilities. Any career is not a bad choice if you are really good at it, but please remember that only being passionate is not good enough, one needs to acquire the required skills and expertise also to be successful in any field. If you are happy while working hard to acquire such skills and expertise this journey becomes more rewarding and fulfilling. So, get rid of your mask, look at the world with a fresh outlook, and see what difference it makes. Live life on your terms, this doesn't mean being irrational, erratic, and without any bounds, it means being rational, sensible, and practical. 

Michelangelo said, "I saw the angel in the marble and I chiseled until I set it free." We should not wait for someone else to see that angel in us, we need to find that hidden angel that resides inside all of us and make all the efforts to set it free. Getting rid of the mask that we wear to make people around us happy is one of those important steps in that direction. 

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The dangers of stereotyping the definition of fun and enjoyment

"Why don't you go on a vacation and have some fun, what's the point in working so much and earning those big bucks if you don't want to have some fun?" A coworker asked one of my friends. My friend could not come up with any explanation as he didn't have any. He knew that his coworker wouldn't believe if he said that he loved his work so much that he didn't need any other enjoyment to really enjoy his life. For him his work was fun and that's all he needed to feel content and happy. However, for most of us, this is not true and I feel stereotyping the definition of fun and enjoyment is the main reason behind this.

There are indeed some people around us who love their work more than anything else and they don't feel the need to do anything else. But many of us can't even imagine that work or studying can be so much fun. The problem is we have stereotyped the definition of fun and enjoyment. We are told that ONLY fun is going on vacation, partying in pubs, having drinks with friends, spending time with friends and family, or watching movies, almost anything but not our work. Many or all of these activities indeed are entertaining and many people enjoy engaging in these activities, but it is not necessary that everyone needs to do them to have fun. I don't understand why people find it hard to digest that someone can have fun while doing their job or while studying? Why study or job is stereotyped as boring and hard, why can't they be super fun and entertaining like other so-called entertaining activities? The main reason behind this stereotyping is that most people don't do a job of their choice or study in the area they really love. They stay in their job even though they don't enjoy a bit of that work and they study subjects in which they have zero interest. Most people do these things (job and study) just because someone told them that this is what everyone does and this is the only way to be successful in this world. They were made to believe that this is how the world works. The effect is, that most people feel that they are stuck with this so-called routine life and try to seek refuge in enjoyment methods which are again prescribed to them by their surroundings to make up for their boring life.

Our society has stereotyped definitions of work, fun, and enjoyment. Why does work need to be always boring? Why weekend culture is so prevalent as if people don't live their lives during the weekdays? Why people who don't go to parties, go on vacation, drink, or watch movies but focus on their work and studies are perceived as boring and someone who is not having any fun? The danger behind such stereotyping is that many people start believing in such categorization and they feel increasingly unsatisfied with their lives. They feel that their life is boring due to their job and students feel they are trapped in studying and they need to do something different to have fun and enjoyment in their lives. The reason for this misunderstanding is simple, we fail to understand that someone can also have fun while working on their job, studying for their degree, or doing research because we are not taught that these things can be fun. Yes, one needs to have a healthy atmosphere at a workplace to enjoy it, one needs to love the subject and have to have great teachers to enjoy their studies, but these things are not hard to find in today's world. There are a variety of industries where one can choose to work as per their liking. The number of universities and courses they offer is vast and one can choose any subject of their liking to study (online or on campus). We can have fun while working if we find our work really exciting and find some purpose behind doing it. If we look forward to the knowledge and wisdom we could get by studying the subject which we like studies will not be boring. One needs a break from everything, there is nothing wrong with taking breaks, not because that particular thing is boring or torturous, but to bring a variety in life and this could be a good reason to do different activities.

Strenuous physical or mental efforts are part of work and study, these things can be very demanding physically and mentally, and some people might say that this is the part that makes these things less interesting and boring. But, gym or sports also demand physical and mental stamina, but many enjoy going to the gym or playing some sport. They don't mind the physical and mental rigor that sports and gym demand. Similarly, if we can have the same attitude towards our work and studies these things can also give us the same enjoyment. Please try this approach and then you will realize that there is no need to live life only during weekends, but weekdays can also be equally rewarding and exciting. Our work consumes a major part of our active lives and we invest the best part of our youth in studying, so it is better if we also enjoy these things. Let's fill our lives with unlimited fun and excitement.

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.

None of the religions are scientific, and they don't have to be

I find it very interesting when various religions try to claim that they are the most scientific ones among all other religions. Amazingly, such an old institution like religion feels compelled to demonstrate that it also possesses some or all characteristics of a much younger academic discipline like science. I am not saying that science didn't exist when religion originated as a personal and social wellness product for human civilization, but back then science was not an organized and well-defined discipline as it is today. Scientific facts and phenomena exist whether we know about them or not. But this fight among all religions to claim how scientific they are demonstrates how science has become a more reliable discipline than religion. So reliable that even ancient institutions like organized religion feel the compulsion to demonstrate their alignment with science.

The compulsion to prove how scientific they are is not limited to any particular religion. If you look at any major religion in the world today, you can find various articles, books, blog posts, and even research papers published in some scientific journals where they claim how various scientific facts or phenomena were already explained in their religious scriptures. There seems to be competition among all religions to show who is more scientific, whereas none of them can pass the rigorous test of producing verifiable data to prove their religious claims. I always thought that most religions could stand on their own without demonstrating any association with science or claiming how scientific they are. Religion satisfies a unique need of the human mind, it puts an end to your questions about the unknown by convincing you that there is some supreme power that controls everything and hence you don't have to worry. Religion commands people to follow the path recommended by whatever scripture is prescribed by that particular religion. By putting an unverifiable and unrecognizable entity as a supreme controller it puts an end to all questions. This approach is supposed to put an end to all the anxiety about the unknown to all people who are willing to accept the existence of any such power. On the contrary, science is an endless pursuit of knowledge. It is a never-ending journey, science not only searches for solutions to existing problems, but it also searches for new problems. The quest to find answers to existing problems and new problems from existing answers is an endless voyage. No book in science can claim that it has all the answers to all human problems because that's not what science is supposed to do. Science doesn't hesitate to accept that it doesn't know answers to many questions, but hardly any religion dares to accept this. This is one of the major differences between science and religion, and as long as religions don't gather the courage to accept this simple fact they cannot claim themselves to be scientific. 

So far, I have not come across any scientific discipline claiming that they are the most religious. I don't think they ever felt the need to claim any association with any religion to demonstrate their validity and relevance. But somehow religion feels insecure because of the popularity and rapid spread of scientific knowledge. As they can't stop this, they figured it out that it is better for them to claim an association with it. It is an unnecessary tactic. As I mentioned, religion satisfies a unique need of a very large number of humans on this planet, this need is going to remain as long as people fear the unknown and don't accept the role of randomness in our lives. It is tough not to worry about the unknown because as a human we are innately curious and want definite answers to our questions. No matter how illogical that answer is, we want an answer and religion does a very good job of providing answers to these types of questions. The need for religion is going to remain no matter how much science progresses as there will be always something that we don't know. Fear of the unknown is not easy to overcome. It is also true that many of the religious scriptures do mention some scientific facts, but this is not enough to validate their claim to be scientific. Even some fiction books contain elements of scientific facts, but that doesn't mean those stories are scientific. The presence of verifiable data is one of the important requirements of any scientific experiment and religion doesn't believe in presenting any such data. None of the current religions are scientific, they don't have to be and they don't have to claim that they are, they should leave science out of their mess, the same way science leaves religion out.

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Is there a democracy in your family?

Democracy is the most desirable social and political structure that most of the world prefers as their way of social and political governance. I agree that it's not a perfect system, but there is nothing better available, it is the best system among all that we can consider. We all (or most of us) love to live in a democratic society, a society where we are free to express our views, free to dissent with powerful people and organizations no matter who we are. We value our democratic rights and expect our governments and society to provide a proper environment to practice those rights. Wherever we feel disagreement we raise our dissenting voice without any fear, this is the ideal picture of any vibrant and working democracy. The topic of today's blog is about democracy at home. Is there a democratic environment in your family where dissent and disagreement are encouraged, or there is a dictatorship where elders or a particular elder makes all the decisions for every member of the family?

The first question people might ask, is why we need to have democracy in our homes? Why do kids who are minor and non-earning members of the family need to have the power to oppose or challenge decisions taken by the earning members of the family? The answer is very simple, for the same reason why everyone needs to have a right to express their views in a society, the reason is, to have a safe and welcoming environment. I agree that it's very easy to run the family when one person has all the decision-making power and others just follow without asking any questions, but then it will be easier to run a country like that, with no opposition and no dissent, just one voice for all. Do we want to live in such a country where someone else speaks for us all the time?

Allowing people to express their views does create some chaos and one needs to spend a lot of time in discussions and debates, but this process also makes everyone understand each other's needs and viewpoints. The democratic environment encourages the exchange of ideas within the family.  Sometimes it may lead to a polarized environment, but if the process of discussion continues eventually family members learn how to agree to disagree. This also teaches each member of the family to speak up and stand for their and other's rights. We should not expect that schools will teach the value of dissent and disagreement to our kids, it is our responsibility as parents to teach them the meaning and value of dissent. Democratic families result in a vibrant democratic society, where there can be disagreements but at the same time, there is collective decision-making and space for alternative opinions. 

Please encourage kids and all other members of the family to share their views and ideas. This will not only make them feel at home but also make them feel a valuable member of the family. This will not only increase understanding of each other but also increase happiness and remove the feeling of fear and suppression. Give it a try and let me know your experience with this. A democratic family is also a happy family.

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.

Do Indians really love Cricket?

Cricket is considered the most popular sport in India. The Board of Control for Cricket in India (BCCI) is one of the richest sports organizations in the world and cricket players command a huge fan following in India. Even the International Cricket Council (ICC) has to be very careful while dealing with matters related to India and take every precaution not to hurt BCCI, such is the power and dominance of BCCI. This is all due to the immense popularity of cricket which generates a huge revenue compared to any other cricket-playing nation in the world. Indian Premier League (IPL) is an immensely successful venture of BCCI where all international cricket stars want to play not just for money but also for the popularity and fan following they get by playing in the IPL. So, one might think that the question of whether Indians really love cricket is meaningless because whatever I wrote so far clearly indicates that Indians are crazy about cricket. In the media also there is a strong perception that Indians love cricket. I pondered over this question for quite some time and I realized that Indians ONLY love a certain type of cricket, not all types of cricket. Their love for this game is very very selective. I did not realize the selective nature of this love until I thought about this issue and I consider myself a cricket lover. 

If we look at other sport-loving countries like the USA where sports like basketball and baseball are very popular, the distinguishing feature is that they have a fan following at every level of that game. College or university teams have a huge fan following, and their games also attract a large number of fans. NFL (National Football League) is very popular but college football is also popular. But in India college or school or even state-level cricket has no fan following. People don't even know when and where their university teams play their games, when are inter-university tournaments organized, and how many times their university won any such championships. State-level games also suffer from poor attendance even when star players play for their respective states. My observation is that Indians like to watch ONLY certain types of cricket. They love watching international cricket matches in which India is involved, all ICC world cups, and T20 tournaments with international stars, rest of the cricket they just don't care. This is a very unique and interesting pattern, this can also be the reason for India's inability to produce international-level sportspersons in other sports despite having so much raw talent. A certain type of cricket gets very disproportionate attention and revenue in India, and this phenomenon has resulted in overall poor sports culture. A sports culture where apart from cricket no other sports is not considered a viable career option. Even cricket gained this status very recently after the success of IPL which opened doors for many local players and helped them to earn a decent living. As long as this selective passion for cricket continues India will struggle to produce quality sports talent in other sports due to a lack of comprehensive sports culture like countries like the USA and Australia. Fans of any sport need to support that sport at every level so that there is recognition at every level which can help to build a sustainable sports culture. Until this happens India's unique love affair with cricket will continue but it won't make India a sports-loving nation.

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.

When abuse becomes the norm of discourse, there is no discourse

When abuse becomes the norm of discourse, then there is no discourse. This is the tragedy of most of the discussion happening over the internet or on news channels. There are arguments, fights, trolling, and bullying, but hardly any constructive discussion. Most political discussions on sensitive social topics are always very passionate, one side normally tries to rip through the other side's arguments, but even while doing this passionately people try not to abuse each other, not to insult or humiliate on a personal level. However, today it seems the intent of every discussion is to humiliate the opponent on a personal level, to demonstrate the contempt for the opponent's views in whatever way one can. People are willing to use fake news, manipulated data, fabricated images, and whatever they can to prove that their opponent is wrong. Abuse in many forms is becoming a norm and in this process, the level of discourse is at all time low.

With increased access to information and data, theoretically, our discussions should become more fact-based and data-driven. We should be using the more relevant information to enlighten each other about all sides of any given issue or topic. But in reality, the exactly the reverse is happening in most of the cases. People are creating, using, and succumbing to more false information. The internet has become a fertile ground to spread rumors and create tension anywhere in the world. Technology is making discussions more superficial and argumentative rather than more deep and enlightening. This is not the fault of the technology itself, it is just a medium that is bound to produce the results based on the way users use it. It's up to users to make the best use of technology for their benefit. Similar to any scientific discovery technology can be used or misused, it can enrich any discussion or it can make it utterly useless. Assertiveness, aggressive advocacy, or even an aggressive attack on opponent's views can be very effective tools to be used in any discourse, but abusing opponents just for having a different view than ours is not one of those tools. When abuse becomes the norm of any discourse, then there is no discourse, there is just abuse. Abuse can be either from one side or both sides, it really doesn't matter. Therefore, each side has the responsibility to maintain civility and dignity of discourse if they desire to produce any positive outcome from any discussion. I hope people realize the difference between being aggressive and being abusive. I hope the dignity and aggressiveness of civil discourse are maintained without being abusive so that we can keep on resolving most complex issues via the way to discussion and don't shut down one of the most useful and effective avenues available for us to resolve our issues.

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.

We cannot become good at something by not doing it

Many of us harbor fear for many things in our personal and professional lives. Some of us fear public speaking, some about writing, some about expressing their opinions because they think they can't articulate their opinions properly or people will laugh at them, and some fear taking initiative. We can add many things to make this list more comprehensive but I think you got my point. Many of these fears are due to our failures when we tried some of those things for the first time; maybe our first presentation was a disaster, maybe when we tried to express our opinion people didn't understand it as there was no clarity, maybe some of us think that we cannot write. The problem with such fears is that we try our best to avoid doing the things that we think we are not good at. In spite of knowing that we might need those skills to progress professionally and personally, we try to avoid taking any steps to master those skills due to our fear. We somehow feel that one fine day suddenly we are going to get better and overcome those hurdles or somehow we can progress by avoiding them altogether, but this is just wishful thinking. We face many situations where we need to speak in front of the public or we are told to express our ideas. Due to a lack of preparation or a belief that we somehow could manage it, we flounder and are not happy with our performance. Such instances solidify our fears as we don't perform any better than our previous attempts as we never tried to fix the original problem problem. The only way to overcome our fears is to practice the skills that we lack or need to improve. There is no way to master anything without practicing it, we need to do the things regularly that we need to master. Regular practice is not necessary only in sports but in each and every skill which we want to master.

I suggest one approach to overcome such fears: make a list of things that you want to learn or improve, prioritize that list as per your need or preference, and then start acting on one item at a time. It is not advisable to start working on each and every item from the list at the same time unless you have enough stamina and time to devote to each of them. Choose the platform and community where you are most comfortable, this is very important as you will need a very encouraging atmosphere at least in the beginning. The journey of personal development is not easy, it requires a hard push as well as a cushion of support. If you have some other responsibilities, like work or study, it is advisable to practice at your own comfort level so that you can handle everything without getting overwhelmed. The journey should be fun and challenging at the same time. It should not be burdensome and affect other parts of your life negatively. Of course, this approach will require an honest effort and sincere commitment from our side, it will test our patience as there will be many challenges and failures, but remember persistence helps and there are no shortcuts to achieving amazing things. If you want to improve on something start working on it, this is the only way to improve. We cannot become good at something by not doing it. All the very best.

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.

Try to improve your standard of life and your standard of living will automatically improve

We often talk about improving the standard of living. Many things contribute towards improving our standard of living: a big home, a luxury car, an exclusive wardrobe, the latest gadgets, comfortable footwear, perfumes, deodorants, makeup, other latest fashion stuff, and many other things. Most of us also have an illusion that improving our standard of living also improves our quality of life. Is this really true? Do we really get a better life with more physical or material comfort?

I don't think there is any doubt that the standard of living has increased in many parts of the world. Increased food production, access to education, and economic prosperity have contributed to increasing the standard of living across the social class all over the world. But, this improvement in the standard of living doesn't seem to translate directly to an improved standard of life. I understand that the answer to this question is not that straightforward. I am sure many of us will pause and think to answer a question about how much physical comfort has really contributed towards improving our standard of life. Are we so focused on improving our standard of living that we do not even bother to think about improving our standard of life? If this is the case, then it is time for us to take a pause and try to think about ways to improve our standard of living.

Material things contribute to improving the standard of living and this can many times translate into improving the standard of life. A more healthy and comfortable life could be a very desirable objective to achieve, but it seems we are going in the exact reverse direction. More and more physical comfort is somehow bringing more and more dissatisfaction. The problem is not more physical comfort, but our inability to deal with changing cultural and social surroundings. Our civilization is going through a radical shift in the way we communicate and interact with each other. Technology has become an integral part of our lives. For many of us, our day starts in front of a screen and ends in front of it. Our phones and computers are no more just gadgets but they are more like a trusted companion with whom we spend most of the time when we are awake. Definitely, technology has broadened our horizons, we get a lot more information than our brain can process or digest, and we can interact with a lot more people than we could have in the absence of this new technology. This all should have brought us together and bridged the gap, making us more social and less divisive, but it seems we are getting more isolated and more polarized. It seems with all the progress in each and every field our life is getting more messed up rather than getting peaceful.

Our standard of life is deteriorating and an increase in suicide rates is a warning signal for us. The truth is that we all are in a much better situation to help each other in every possible way, we can offer each other emotional support without the need to be in physical proximity of each other. Technology allows us to do this, but this will happen only if we are willing to extend a helping hand to each other. We can improve each other's standard of life by helping each other to overcome our personal problems, but somehow we are failing to do that. Probably, we could not figure out whether we are using the technology or technology is using us.

Improving our standard of life is not supposed to be such a hard task. Humans are master of it, this is why we dominate and control the world. But in all this progress somehow we lost our simplicity.  We need to enjoy simple things in life. We should pay equal attention to the people around us as much as we pay attention to the virtual world. We must realize that emotional well-being or comfort is as important as physical comfort. We must learn to give our best to our work and enjoy our free time equally. Try to give your best and enjoy the journey, not to worry too much about the destination. Give it a shot, try to improve your standard of life, and see that your standard of living will automatically go up.

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.

The art of happiness

A disclaimer first, this post has nothing to do with the book "The Art Of Happiness" written by Dalai Lama, I have not read the book but only came to know about it when I was searching if anyone has already used this title and no surprise that Mr. Dalai Lama has already written a book about it. The post is about my own experiences and struggles, it has nothing to do with the above-mentioned book.

If we look at the history of human civilization, the level and type of stress changes generation after generation. We improved our physical comforts a lot because of progress in technological aspects of our lives. Our generation has more access to travel, education, clean water, food, information, medicines, and many other things compared to our previous generations. However, our generation also has more complicated psychological problems. We also have two parallel worlds now: the real world and a virtual world in which we live simultaneously. Despite all this progress in the physical world, why are we struggling to keep up the same speed in the psychological or mental world? Why suicide rates are going up? Why are we not happy and more connected with each other and help each other in moments of need and desperation? Questions are many, and each individual needs to search for an answer for himself or herself. We humans are extremely complex organisms and hence our problems are complex and their solutions are going to differ from person to person.

Can we learn how to be happy on our own or is it something that entirely depends on our surroundings? Is being happy is a habit or an art? I think one can definitely learn how to be happy. Happiness is extremely personal and this is what people are forgetting, they are getting more into comparative happiness. I see that many people base their own happiness on how happy others are around them. They want to buy that dream house because everyone in their age group has such a house, they want that car because that's a status symbol, they want to have a job with a six-figure income because that's what they are being told a successful career is. Many of these perceptions and beliefs are acquired without giving any serious thought to what we actually want and what are our own needs and desires that make us happy. The biggest problem is that this conditioning of mind starts so early in our lives that we don't even develop a capacity to think about our own needs and desires. This conditioning wires our minds in such a way that we knowingly or unknowingly start walking on a path paved for us by culture, religion, media, society, or people around us. Mind it, this conditioning is very intense and organized, it's impossible to escape it.

So, how to learn the art of being happy? The basic question is, do we even know what the real happiness means? Is the pursuit of personal happiness worth the effort it will take, or it is better to surrender to what our society dictates to us? Why anyone should believe whatever I am writing is the right way to think about happiness? Actually, that's the whole point of the post, the post is not about educating you on what is happiness and how to be happy, but it is about recognizing the problems that are prohibiting us from being happy and being aware of forces that are pushing us on a fabricated path of happiness. The first step that anyone can take is to stop engaging in comparative happiness. Not everyone has to go on a vacation, and not everyone needs to own a house or a car. We all are different and there is nothing wrong with it. Our sex, sexual orientation, race, nationality, or any other trait doesn't make us any better or worse. We all are unique and we must recognize this aspect not only about ourselves but about others around us as well. We also need to become aware of what are we actually seeking, for example, education is important not from which college or university you get it. It is important to have fun while doing your job, so if you are dragging every day to work then it is not the right area of work for you, it's time to try something different. There are many small steps that we can take to take control of our own lives. 

We need to enjoy the journey, struggle, efforts, and preparations as much as we enjoy the destination. If we focus too much on the end product then we miss so much which is equally important and on which we spend more time than the end result. We need to recognize that failures, fear, anxiety, depression, stress, joy, and grief all are an integral part of our lives. These emotions are bound to come we need to recognize them and be conscious of our mental hygiene. We should give equal importance to our mental hygiene as we give it to our physical hygiene. All these things will help us to learn the art of happiness. But please remember, there is no universal formula to learn this art. Everyone has to find their own way, you can only decide what makes you happy or sad. You can only decide when you want to buy the house or what type of profession you want to choose, others can always help you to make these decisions, but the final decision should be yours and yours only. 

Learn to spend some time with yourself, and try to understand your own identity and value. We get too busy in our daily struggles. These struggles consume us so much that we don't get time to think about who we are and what we really want. If this post kindles a desire to search for your own path of happiness, then it has served its purpose. No matter how different that path is, how weird you think you are, this is your path. Take all help that you can, find people who love and support you, and find people who are willing to invest in your wellbeing, this all will help you to find your own path. We must try to spread love and compassion, this is a duty of every human as there is always a need for more love and compassion. Imagine a world where all are happy and no matter how impossible that task looks we can at least give it a shot. Let's try to make this world a happier place, and let's start by making happy ourselves first. 

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.

For good policies, you need good politics

Many countries in the world struggle to accelerate development or to make sure that the benefits of development can be enjoyed by most of the population. One of the main reasons for this problem is the lack of good policies. All these countries are not ruled by dictators or going through civil war or something other social or political crisis, many of them have well-established democratic election system that seems to be working, elections happen regularly, people seem to participate in the electoral process, and elected governments seem to enjoy people's support. India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, and Sri Lanka are some such countries where it seems no matter who is in power nothing much changes on the ground, parties win or lose but it seems the country always loses in every election. Every party thinks about its own political future first rest is secondary. They all use the country and nationalism as tools to solidify their own political base, to win an election, to propagate a personality cult, to suppress opposition, but never to bring any positive reforms, never to take some forward-looking steps that might harm them politically but are good for the country's future. I was excited when the current Indian government came to power and even wrote a post about their historical election victory.

For good policies, you need good politics. For good politics, you need well-functioning institutions of various branches of the government that perform their work independently. This doesn't happen in most of the countries that struggle economically despite being democratic countries for so long. I have seen this happening in India. Corruption on various levels cripples most of these countries. When I say corruption, I am not just talking about the bribe culture, I am talking about the culture of corruption. In a country where not allowing the largest political party to form a government is not unusual, horse-trading to buy legislatures of other political parties to gain a majority is not considered a wrong practice, open collusion between various branches of the government doesn't disturb people, political opponents are not only ridiculed but branded as anti-nationals, where one political party talks about eliminating their oppositions from the country, good politics cannot exist. All these are not signs of good politics, and no wonder India still struggles to get a government that can dare to implement good policies. As I said I was hopeful about this government that they will implement some good policies but after five years all I can see is that they spent all their time in establishing their brand and winning state elections, nothing else. I am not bothered by mistakes that happen while taking some radical steps (like demonetization), but I am surprised that a government with so many resources at its hand can't figure out the possible outcomes of its actions before taking such a drastic step. Announcing any reform is not a big deal, making sure that it gets implemented to produce its desired result is where all the skills of governance and management are required and I am still waiting to witness this in India. One such opportunity was lost in 1984 when only a few reforms (like telecommunications and the introduction of computers) were performed, but nothing spectacular was done as far as political and social reforms are concerned, and now this is another opportunity that didn't live to its expectations. Please remember, "for good policies, you need good politics."

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.

When religion of the rape victim becomes more important than her pain, there is a serious problem

Two rape cases created a big splash on India news channels and on social media. One was the rape and murder of an eight-year-old girl, and another was the rape of a 17-year-old girl by a lawmaker from the ruling party of that state. Both cases are equally horrible and condemnable. But, surprisingly on social media, there was extensive discussion about the religion of one of the victims and perpetrators of the crime. Some people accused people who were protesting about this case of their selective outrage. I wonder how these people come up with such twisted logic. There was huge outrage in India after the Nirbhaya rape case. At that time no one was accused of selective outrage. No one said that there are so many rapes happening in the country so why are you just protesting about this one case. But it seems just because in one of these cases rapists and the victim are from different religions this question about the religious identity of the victim and accused suddenly became relevant.

I wonder in which direction society is moving where the religion of a rape victim becomes more important than the crime of rape? In which direction society is moving where lawyers and lawmakers participate in a protest march in favor of accused rapists? There is no doubt that every accused of any crime must get a fair and transparent trial, the law should treat everyone equally. Every accused deserves a fair legal representation for their defense. But this is not even an issue here, some people are not only questioning the motives of people who feel outraged by such incidents but they are also trying hard to justify this heinous act, and this should worry any society. What do you call a society where outrage over heinous crimes depends on from which religion the victim or accused comes? Reactions on social media and some debates on news channels should stir the consciousness of every Indian no matter which religion they belong to or which political party they support. 

I hope polarization created due to political propaganda doesn't create such an unbridgeable gap between different sections of society that they can't even come together even to protest against overtly criminal acts. When all your discussions end up getting connected with the religion, then there is a problem. When we look for a person's caste, nationality, race, or religion before showing our outrage at a crime, then there is a problem. We all are humans first, and then political supporters or religious followers. If we forget our basic human qualities of empathy and compassion towards our fellow human beings and look at everything through the prism of politics or religion then we must evaluate what type of people are we becoming? I think we all need to question ourselves about this and look for the answers within. Maybe our consciousness might help us more than these social media posts, news channel debates, or statements from some senseless politicians. I request everyone reacting to this issue to see if they are reacting like a compassionate human, a responsible citizen, a blind political supporter, or a blind religious follower. In the end, the choice is always ours, and I hope humanity is still the most attractive choice for most of us.

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this issue.

Six years!

It has been six years since I started writing this blog. I published my first post on 5th March 2012, and the blog has now more than 400 posts. The main aim of writing this blog is to share my thoughts and not to publish articles regularly. This journey started with the intention of sharing my views on various social, political, and personal issues while getting feedback from readers about their own views. It has been a very rewarding experience for me so far. I hope to continue it as long as possible, the frequency of posts might get reduced based on how busy I get with various other things in my life, but the blog will remain an active place to share ideas in the near future also. 

As I already mentioned, so far, this has been a really rewarding experience for me and I hope all blog readers also enjoyed reading the blog. Please feel free to share your thoughts, all of us need to express ourselves in whatever medium we feel comfortable with, this is how we educate each other and learn from each other.

Thanks for reading and encouraging me. I wish happy reading to all readers.

Peer pressure - good or bad?

We all face or must have faced "peer pressure" at some point in our lives. Peer pressure is not only the pressure one feels from their friends during high school or college which forces them to do the stuff they don't want to do or when they take drastic steps to fit in the stereotyped definition of a "cool person," it is the pressure which we feel from people from our age group at any point of our lives. It can be in school, college, workplace, society, family, or on online social media. In today's era of social media, these people don't have to be our school or college friends, they can be anyone from anywhere in the world, and this aspect has broadened the group of people who can exert peer pressure on us. I see many people get affected not only by their friends and relatives who are part of their inner circle but also by people whom they don't even know personally (only know from social media).

Is peer pressure good or bad? If it is only bad then why do people succumb to it or get affected by it so much? The truth is, that many of us need continuous validation from people around us. We crave recognition and praise. Why? Because it motivates us and makes us feel happy and valuable. And this is where peer pressure kicks in. To get that validation and recognition we feel the need to cater to what is demanded or liked by the people around us. Before social media, these people used to be the ones from our peer group, people whose validation we crave the most. This why we try to fit into stereotyped definitions of beauty, try to achieve success in ways the society defines it to us, and try to live life the way it is being advertised, even our definition of happiness and success is heavily influenced by the advertisements and market forces. However, thanks to social media, there are so many things apart from our immediate peer group that can create peer pressure on us. Social media has expanded the definition of the peer group, not we can be peer pressured by anyone from anywhere in the world.

If this pressure encourages you, helps you to work harder, motivates you to wake up every day and go to work, and feel good about yourself then it is good for you and it is helping you. But, if this peer pressure is making you frustrated, feel overburdened with expectations from others, feel dejected and worthless about yourself, adding to your anxiety, and making you depressed, then definitely it is hurting you and is bad for you. It can work either as a motivator or depressor depending on how you react to it.

The first step is to try to recognize what this pressure is doing to you and based on that one can plan how to deal with it. The best way is to immunize yourself from it so that it can't affect you in any way, but in this case, you also lose the positive effects of it. Another way is to be aware of its existence, use it only in a positive way, and consciously avoid getting negatively affected. It is not that easy, but I think it is necessary in today's world that we keep the focus on our mental hygiene as much as we focus on our physical hygiene. There is a lot of help available (books, blogs, and online forums) to learn how to use peer pressure to our advantage. We must take advantage of all these resources and make peer pressure work for us. The truth is, it is very difficult to avoid peer pressure, so it is better to learn how to deal with it so that it can help us rather than drag us down. 

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.

Being a devil's advocate

To be a devil's advocate is not that easy. While doing so a person tries to defend a less popular view or a minority stand. This is not an easy task and also not that popular for obvious reasons. Some people do it just for fun as they love to engage in any sort of argument, but there are many good reasons to do this. I do this with my kids, not because I love to engage in arguments with them. Many times they really get mad at me when I do this, but as a parent, I think it is my responsibility to make them realize that there can be another side to every issue and they must be aware of counterarguments that others may pose against their opinions. When I challenge their stand my main aim is to know on what grounds they are basing their opinion: is it a very superficial and weak base like, just because everyone thinks like that I also believe in it, is it because of peer pressure, or they really thought about the issue seriously before reaching to their conclusion. By being a devil's advocate in front of my kids I make sure that they are not blindly following either me or someone without testing those opinions independently. My aim is to initiate that rethinking mechanism where they start considering alternative opinions that are contrary to their own.

Actually, I didn't start doing this consciously, it happened over a period of time. I observed that there are families who follow the same political ideologies for generations, just like their religion. They become so devout to that particular ideology that they can't even imagine that the other side has anything good to offer, it almost becomes like a religion for them. Parents and kids share the same political and social ideology, religion, dietary restrictions, and even superstitions. I felt that many families are becoming factories where carbon copies of humans are produced under the name of culture and traditions. I don't mean to say that following culture and traditions is wrong or parents should not guide their kids. I just want to emphasize that these things also should be challenged and refined to tune them with the changing times. Not every tradition is timeless and can survive the test of time, but if we make them immune from any attack then of course they will survive forever. This cannot be called the greatness of that tradition but rather is a weakness of that culture, society, religion, or group that failed to change with the changing times. 

Being a devil's advocate doesn't mean you have to defend each and every unpopular issue. There are many things that can't be defended. My main aim is to bring forward unrepresented views to that discussion. If it is a pro-Republican setting I try to highlight some Democrat policies which make sense and vice versa. If it is an anti-Trump group, I try to present some policies of his administration that look very promising. If it is a pro-BJP group I try to question the performance of the BJP govt and want to know if their supporters are analyzing it in the same way or blindly following it. The list can go on, the real point is I try to project another side of the issue to the group which otherwise may not bother to look at it. I try to engage in discussion in such a way that they realize that the other side also may have some good ideas which as a society we need to consider and shouldn't ignore just because it is coming from our opposition. Opposition and diversity of views are very necessary for any society to progress. A society with monotonous views or where there is no opposition runs into the risk of living under blissful ignorance that they are always on the right path (which may or may not be true).

I should also give one warning to everyone who wants to try this method, the risk is that it might make you less popular in that particular group. People normally don't like it when their core beliefs or deep-rooted political ideologies are challenged. People feel uncomfortable when you ask really difficult questions about their leader, religion, or political party. So, one has to be really careful as there is a very thin line between being inquisitive and offensive. You might even sound arrogant to some (especially when you question some religious beliefs) or elite (especially when you are trying to defend capitalism in a group that believes in socialism or communism). One has to take the risk of being labeled by various names if you want to try to do this exercise, but I think it is worth that risk.

I think my kids benefited from this exercise, at least they are aware that there can be an equally compelling argument from the other side which they should at least listen to, rethink their own opinions, and analyze objectively before coming to any conclusions. If you want to test this methodology with your kids, friends, or relatives just try it, at least you will know the tolerance level of people around you for counter opinions if nothing else.

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.

Gender equality is as much about educating men as it is about empowering women

It is a common perception that "gender equality" is all about women's empowerment and equal rights for them. It is true, but that's not the entire truth, gender equality is also about making men aware of this changing environment and shifting of gender dynamics where there is no weaker sex anymore. This might sound trivial and obvious, and many might ask why is it hard for men to understand this simple thing about gender equality? But it seems, it's not that easy for many men to grasp and adjust to this change. Many of them sincerely want to support gender equality but fail to understand how to practice it in their private lives. Especially during those special moments like going on a date or during intimate moments like sexual encounters. A recent story about Indian American comedian Aziz Ansari is an example of one such behavior where things can go terribly wrong without malice from either side.

Why do people fail to grasp the real meaning of gender equality? Why do many societies and cultures fail to accept gender equality in its true sense? Even in developed countries that pioneered and fiercely advocated gender equality in the modern era, why do many people fail to treat their partners the way any society that believes in gender equality should treat them? All these questions point towards only one major problem, somehow men were not as involved in this moment as they should have been. Maybe the entire focus was to make women aware of their rights and encourage them to stand up against the blatant discrimination practiced against them. It was the right thing to do, but at the same time, it was also necessary to engage men in this process. After all, they are the rest of the 50% population who are equally important if as a society we aim to succeed in our efforts to develop a culture without gender discrimination. A lot of progress has been achieved towards gender equality, still, it is not perfect but it is much better than just a few decades before. As women became aware of their rights and started demanding equal treatment, men also should have been made aware of the changing dynamics of the man-woman relationship.

The concept of a male as a dominant partner in a relationship is very old. Men were supposed to take initiative, they were supposed to initiate the relationship, and were supposed to play lead roles even in sexual encounters. The concept of enthusiastic consent was alien to most couples, but now times have changed for good and every individual participating in any relationship must make sure that he or she is aware of these changed notions. There are initiatives undertaken by many Colleges and Universities in the USA to make their students aware of these things. These educational tools are useful for everyone and I think everyone willing to be in a relationship should go through these materials to learn what is proper and what is improper conduct. Old social norms won't change unless people become aware of new norms and educate themselves. I hope the Aziz Ansari incident acts as a wake-up call for all who didn't bother to educate themselves about the importance of enthusiastic consent in any relationship. Relationships are beautiful only when both partners voluntarily participate in it, one's enjoyment should not become another partner's trauma. Gender equality is as much about educating men as it is about empowering women, and without their education we will not be able to achieve true gender equality.

Thanks for reading and please share your views on this topic.